Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
