Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
