my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
