im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
