I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
