i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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