Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
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I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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