His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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