So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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