So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
