its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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