You really coming over, don't trick.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
