She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize