There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
