i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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