Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
