Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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