I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
