i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize