sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
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