Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?

(1-506): View more from New Brunswick

Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to

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(506): Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh? (1-506): Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to http://tfl.nu/xpu9

Replies (16) Good night (3239) Bad night (838)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.

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(215): He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad. http://tfl.nu/mg0o

Replies (32) Good night (791) Bad night (7984)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.

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(321): On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/bm31

Replies (9) Good night (4266) Bad night (662)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now

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(614): I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now http://tfl.nu/fog4

Replies (9) Good night (3509) Bad night (865)
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(631): View more from New York

woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?

(516): View more from New York

you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."

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(631): woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain? (516): you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food." http://tfl.nu/33sl

Replies (67) Good night (11809) Bad night (1518)
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(512): View more from Texas

I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.

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(512): I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order. http://tfl.nu/zk7q

Replies (16) Good night (5907) Bad night (1568)
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(613): View more from Ontario

there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.

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(613): there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays. http://tfl.nu/8dlv

Replies (5) Good night (2642) Bad night (903)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home

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(918): I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home http://tfl.nu/noo6

Replies (12) Good night (3597) Bad night (953)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.

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(908): I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well. http://tfl.nu/i8n0

Replies (4) Good night (2090) Bad night (963)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.

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(952): You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning. http://tfl.nu/mwji

Replies (3) Good night (571) Bad night (1526)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.

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(612): She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again. http://tfl.nu/aifk

Replies (13) Good night (1988) Bad night (797)
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(914): View more from New York

Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"

(1-914): View more from New York

New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak

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(914): Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits" (1-914): New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak http://tfl.nu/prur

Replies (8) Good night (1302) Bad night (458)
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(989): View more from Michigan

Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok

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(989): Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok http://tfl.nu/9bve

Replies (2) Good night (583) Bad night (257)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.

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(937): Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist. http://tfl.nu/ypin

Replies (1) Good night (445) Bad night (308)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.

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(317): Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs. http://tfl.nu/v8ra

Replies (7) Good night (711) Bad night (307)

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