Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.

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  (303): Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !! (832): Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless. http://tfl.nu/apa0
  Replies (20) Good night (3930) Bad night (699)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.

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  (512): I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related. http://tfl.nu/b1mq
  Replies (30) Good night (3643) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come

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  (313): im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come http://tfl.nu/9b59
  Replies (30) Good night (4107) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.

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  (559): You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community. http://tfl.nu/nzga
  Replies (21) Good night (5833) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.

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  (214): A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot. http://tfl.nu/a1lj
  Replies (65) Good night (28429) Bad night (2035)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.

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  (413): i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list. http://tfl.nu/l7yl
  Replies (15) Good night (4870) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes

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  (860): all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes http://tfl.nu/55qw
  Replies (22) Good night (2261) Bad night (4412)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.

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  (613): Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say. http://tfl.nu/8sw1
  Replies (20) Good night (746) Bad night (9499)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.

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  (469): The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig. http://tfl.nu/4p0a
  Replies (9) Good night (4383) Bad night (1240)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off

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  (862): dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off http://tfl.nu/s9m5
  Replies (4) Good night (2603) Bad night (1087)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?

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  (941): Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass? http://tfl.nu/sdtw
  Replies (4) Good night (1771) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.

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  (757): almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight. http://tfl.nu/a50k
  Replies (7) Good night (2932) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance

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  (937): Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance http://tfl.nu/14uy
  Replies (2) Good night (1156) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.

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  (407): And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight. http://tfl.nu/v0lu
  Replies (12) Good night (634) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous

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  (860): next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous http://tfl.nu/uxgf
  Replies (7) Good night (1156) Bad night (405)

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