guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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