maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
