I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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