we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
