I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
