I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
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Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
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Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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