Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
