He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
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Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
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But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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