Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all done wearing pants today
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize