i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize