They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
