i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
