I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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