Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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