Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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