i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
