Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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