just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
