party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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