Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
