we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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