Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
This baby is an asshole
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
