:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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