I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
