Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
they need to just BURY HIM!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
pray to the hookup gods
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
