yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
