did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
