...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
