I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
