you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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