She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
