I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize