I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
