I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
even my farts smell like vagina
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
