I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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