I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
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