We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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