You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
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they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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