So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
