Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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