She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Randomize
